Just ran to the store on my way to the office to buy Diet Coke...the guy in front of me let me cut because it was 4 more minutes until 8am, so he wouldn't be able to purchase his vodka. I love Wisconsin
I haven't been this sober since birth.
Im telling you now. Hang out with winning football players and you get whatever the hell you want. Sorry to wake you. But its important knowledge.
he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
Have you asked your drug dealer if he wants to see harry potter with you?
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
It was ths the worst 15 minutes of my life. . . It was like fucking a warm stick of butter.
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
Remember the couple Steve and I heard and rated their sex based on the bed squeaks cuz we couldn't sleep through the noise? We got them back. They turned up the radio to drown us out.
Happy Birhtday!
Dad, it's 3am and it's not my birthday... wherever you are, go home
Did you drink ALL that 151??
No. We drank all the jaeger... Then used the 151 to start the fire. We're also out of paper towels... And your hairspray is flammable.
I am too high to deal with coming home to 11 naked people in my living room
I mean, you got a giant dick. I've seen lawn gnomes that are smaller.
Just put on slippers before underwear so you know where my priorities are
Dry spell is over and now I’m drowning in a river of dick. The dam broke and now half the dicks in DC are trying get in my skirt
It’s a glorious dick miracle!
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