this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
She rode me to the beat of Baby Got Back. I swear to god.
Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife's back...i told her he said face only.
Your friends ate a hole through an entire loaf of bread
How do you say "I always respond to booty calls" when you give a guy your number?
I just found a hunk of ham in my back jeans pocket from god knows when. We gotta stop going so ham.
Well... When your girlfriend fucks your sister, the 2 week courtesy window goes out the door.
I actually took a sword out of your hands. You were samurai slashing lemons to make chasers.
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
Sooo a reasonable response to someone eating my lunch is to set the place on fire right?
I'm listening to Michael Jackson while drinking vodka, alone. Honestly, l wish I could Moonwalk my way back to when I knew wtf was going on in my life.
Sooo I ended up ugly crying at the drive thru window at 10 pm last night....how was your valentine's day?
Well what did you order
After this weekend, all I can think about is bald eagles flying in front of fireworks and giving birth to fucking uncle sam. Also, beer.
She shit herself again. We're calling her the "Queen of Sharts".
Randomize
