I just paid a homeless man $20 for the dragon ball Z shirt he was wearing. I need to stop drinking
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
I have to talk to myself and be all "you are NOT horny tonight"
I've got to stop giving the gift of vagina for every occasion. I'm exhausted.
You would be too ashamed to ever love me again if you saw the filth I just created. It brings unspeakable dishonor to the nacho dynasty. Like I raped the king's daughter, cut off her hands and made him eat them that's how hard I fucked up nachos.
Why can't I live in a world where my only 2 options are rum bikini hot tub party or masturbating?
The Angel on my shoulder is now resorting to merely reminding me that, "You will regret this later." I'm not sure if he's learning how I think or just giving up. Either way, should make life a bit more interesting.
Well then sir I'll probably see you tomorrow after my class and at 3 with your clothes off. Sounds like a solid way to start the weekend to me
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
im so hung over everytime my dog barks the sound vibration makes my whole body hurt
Did you put pizza in my boxers last night?
I left you 4 hours ago. Have you been walking around with shit in your pants all day?
The ONLY reason I am doing laundry is because all my sweatpants are dirty.
I refuse to be socially acceptable any longer than what is needed to pick up chinese food.
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
I still judge her for aggressively trying to get coke from my date but pretty cool that she's a black belt
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