will power is for people who don't want to get laid
My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
it's like his penis is God's way of saying "sorry about his face"
She drove all the way from Austin to have sex with me. I think it's a safe assumption my dick will have an easy life in college.
I knew my sign language would come in handy. I just used sign to coordinate a coke deal.
Even jesus won't love me after tonight. I'm going hard.
Damn you and your marathon penis with its superhuman capabilities
I did however clean up the cupcakes and vomit so I'm not that bad of a roommate
Just jacked in the family restroom in the hospital while eating beef jerky and looking at reddit gone wild.
It's 4:30 AM and I just walked through a line of 10 deer without them freaking out. I am the campus deer king.
In my defense, there are at least three ways to die doing that, and I'm still here. America, Fuck Yeah!
Welp. June's off to a great start. I just ripped my pants, completely sober, at 10:30 p.m.
Also, do you have any insight as to WHY I have a note saved from the 17th of June that reads *clears throat*, "you got that swanky blues libido"
Sorry I had sex in your backseat while everyone was in the car
It's quite alright. I found his shorts in my backseat, not sure what he was wearing when we dropped him off
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