Im so sleepy and hes snoring super loud! i just wanna suffocate him, sleep, and deal with the body when I wake up
what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
All I remember was the chick screaming "don't hookup with him! His dick's the size of a cucumber"
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
i had to take off my light up shamrock necklaces, my professor was getting suspicious.
Drunk me cleaned my room for me. Needless to say our relationship has improved greatly
I cannot tell if the couch is cold or I spilled beer. THAT kind of night.
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
That doesn't mean I'm a slut. Unless McFlurries are involved.
I will rub McFlurries all over you.
Jesus told me in my dream not to go to the party. I am athiest for tonight PARTY ON
my brain is opting to stay half drunk rather than relearn how to think. the rest of me is in no position to argue.
I've literally NEVER been on a date or gotten through one episode of netflix without having sex like I JUST WANT TO WATCH TRUE DETECTIVE
Idk I saw a cheetah print onesie and it reminded me of your Lion King fantasy.
Things could not have gone more poorly if I had stripped naked and run through the Sahara with sirloins tied to my vagina.
Randomize
