if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
o shit let me call u back theres a hamburger in my pocket
Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
how do i say "thank you for the blowjob, but never talk to me again" without crushing her?
Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
If someone would have told me in preschool that I was going to do him I would have said no
couldn't find my pants so i stole a pair of shorts from the passed out kid in the corner.
Can we put your name for the shipping address for penis ice luge?
Is there a reason there's a dick print on my seventh-story window?
Judging by your snapchat you're totally working on your project and definitely not singing, "The Sign" while shirtless with another man.
Fuckin wine wasted last night. Found my pants in the toilet this morning.
Of course, you have to give the courtesy text like last night when I told you my dick was gonna smell like peppermint
I DIDN'T WATCH THE PILLSBURY DOUGH BOY PORN!!!!
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
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