Just puked in a mcdonalds cup while driving. Didn't even swerve.
his dad told me thanks for making his little boy a man at breakfast this morning
We should make a goal to do one active thing a day, even if its like throwing a ball
And by ball i mean playing catch. Beer pong does not count as an activity
then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
woke up holding a soft boiled egg cup and empty bottle of rum. apparently i couldn't find a shot glass
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
I know this is really fun but I don't wanna glow anymore
Remember that time you bought snap bracelets on Amazon and they sent you 300 pregnancy tests instead? Amazon knows.
I didn't know whether to laugh at the fact that a dog bit his balls or throw up cause my dad was telling me a story involving his balls.
I vaguely remember seeing that couple making out in front of that store and i yelled "I ALSO LOVE THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN SOAP COMPANY!"
A guy with a mustache poured a beer down your throat while you had a crippled boy named Sunshine riding your back
the only things my left hand does: catch/hold things and masturbation.
Pregaming at Jodi's. Ten minutes
Thought it was at Brad's?
Pregaming the pregame. Need alcohol before I can see that dick.
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
Randomize