How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
I wish sober me loved running as much as drunk me...
My parents foreign exchange student just walked in on me whacking off. Welcome to America :)
What is a reasonable amount of condoms to keep in my condom wallet without it being creepy that I have too many?
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
Tom is laying in a bathtub filled with ice pretending to be a polar bear.
i woke up in just my socks. my clothes were outside, he had rugburn on his elbows, and a window was broken.
Hot dogs and hydrocodine is NOT the combo of champions
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
I was telling my friend about your penis and the only word I could think of was voluptuous. You have a voluptuous dick.
Just called the boss a "cunt baguette". To her face. This is why I can't drink with people from work. Know of anywhere that's hiring?
He had a cruise ship of a dick and I need to set sail on that ocean again
i wish i could put you in a lil box, and keep you for when i need to be blown
Randomize
