I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
Dude stop singing. Your life is not an episode of fucking glee
It's been two days. My balls feel like watermelons.
Did you just buzz the apartment and throw shit at the window? Josh and rob came into my room and woke me up
Fuck you Ian. U owe me $3.65 cuz thasts what I thfrew at ur window trying to wake ur ass up. And fuck u for not giving a shit
We shaved off his eyebrows I'm pretty sure his fiance will be thrilled at the wedding
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
I need rollerblades now
Rollerblades pick up bitches
This lady gave me four cups to go along with my gallon of daiquiri. Silly girl, all I need is a straw.
Ate a live seahorse, then tried to order a nacho bell grande from an ATM.
How the fuck do you get to keep practicing as a Nurse.
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
You were so stoked after landing that flip that you dropped acid with three random guys without hesitation
I think I should've done my makeup before I took the acid. Because now I just feel silly looking at myself in the mirror
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