He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
my roomate judo was messing around with a girl who recently had a kid, when he was sucking her tits milk came out lmao
I just foul balled at work. I had taken off my coat too… had to go to the sink wash my hands then go back to the stall and pick up my coat. I hope the guy shitting in the stall next to me didn’t figure out what happened.
Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
Just accidentally pinched my dick between two 50 pound dumbbells while doing shoulder shrugs. God hates me.
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
I didn't just randomly come up with it. But if you want to give me extra credit for creativity I have a bare chest and chocolate sauce left
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
She's on her way over to shave my year round sweater vest into a festive argyle sweater vest. Keeper?
Did you cry?
I don't think so. I definitely lost my cool though
Yeah i think jesus would lose his cool in that situation
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
I don't know man. I fell outside Pizza Hut and an employee had to perform first aid. But I think I got free pizza. So it was worth it.
I was lying I actually don't, I hope a reindeer shitted in her bed
I just lost my handcuff virginity and not in the sexy way.
Randomize
