before tonight, i was terrified of what tequila would make me do. but all it did was make me hook up with a movie star. sooo basically tequila's my new fave
we'll go far in life on tits alone.
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
You do realize that you tried to eat the neighbors cat because the dominos guy was 5 minutes late. You would have succeeded if we didnt stop you.
Can u check his last FB check in, then come pick me up from there. Blame it on the tequila
My legs r really sober for running now
I don't think that's how sobriety works.
that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
going on a mission to find my pants and the guy who stole my beer don't wait up
Just threw up mid-poop. I can't drink like I used to.
He got up in the middle of the show and returned with this massive ham shank, then offered me some by asking "wanna suckle on my hog." Should I be offended?
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
I'm bringing pajamas, aspirin, morning after clothes and morning after pill
I don't mean to alarm you but are the strongest testicles in the family. I just learned I can lift 90 lb with my balls! Beat that.
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