if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
I almost had to get my pinky cut off. Wow I'm so happy. We won beer olympics so i didnt hahaha
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
Currently cooking 3lbs of bacon in case the power goes out bc if even one slice of bacon goes to waste then sandy wins
You just kept yelling and saying, "IM NOT GOING TO STOP YELLING UNTIL YOU TAKE THAT SHOT"
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
Who the fuck gets injured on a merry-go-round? HOW IS IT POSSIBLE??
You know you're high when, "Why can't I steal the duck?!" Becomes a serious question.
You are a super loving wife. But did you, at any point since Thanksgiving, slip me half your bottle of stool softeners?
We almost got stabbed in the nuts last night. Don't worry, we're alright.
I HAVE 5 FELTING NEEDLES AND THEYRE GOING DIRECTLY INTO YOUR EYES IF YOU POST THAT SHIT
She was giving me head, and a cop pulled up next to us. I freaked when he looked over at me, but so did he and rear ended the car in front of him.
Randomize
