remember that night jesus turned water into wine? DRUNKER.
i just googled "what is oprah really like?" how do YOU think my night is going?
bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
best thing about halloween? there are pumpkins to puke in EVERYWHERE!
We were in the shower and he sat down an wouldn't do anything. I'm so glad he manscapes. It made washing his balls less awkward.
She ran over a curb, took out a yard-sale sign and hit a fence before admitting to me that she may be losing her vision "a bit". Never letting grandma drive again.
I just walked past a guy banging a chick in the back of his car.
Is it a coincidence that the reminder on my phone to take my birth control is "I'm ready to party" from Bridesmaids?
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
skipped tacos for a blowjob. No tacos. No blowjob. More importantly...no tacos. Wtf?
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
Taco Bell is better for you than cocaine, I promise.
We were dancing and then he pointed to the club floor and there was money that I dropped everywhere. That was the nicest thing someone has ever done for me.
Randomize
