Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
Half Baked? Au contraire, Ben and Jerry, I was fully baked when I ate that whole pint of ice cream.
TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
Tonight is one of those "I'm wearing a shirt as a dress" nights because I need to get laid.
Apparently my gaydar only works on americans. Frenchie capris has two topless chicks in our kitchen making him breakfast.
Taking shots out of pine wood derby trophiesssssss. best idea ever.
I can't tell if they're having sex or watching the beach scene from Saving Private Ryan. All I know is I hear explosions and men screaming and crying
If I don't end up being a booty call for Valentine's Day, you wanna go to the movies?
oh god my hair smells like rotten vegetables, sweat, and tequila. I wanna party with your neighbors every night.
His car is rigged up like the cash cab how am i supposed to not sleep with him
Its 11am and I'm eating gummi bears and drinking Tennessee honey in my underwear...this is why I'm self employed
I knew I wanted to marry her when we got in that bar fight and she full-nelsoned a guy while I worked his kidneys. I knew then we had to breed
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
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