Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
No, you can still breathe under the balls.
he just found out his girl is having a boy. he's probably googling "Ed Hardy diapers" as we speak.
Just found out my drug dealer is also a porn star. It's a good day.
It was like some kind of slut recycling operation. She gave me the shirt of the last guy she slept with in exchabge for mine so I didn't have to wear the same thing to work. She's been doing it for years
Why does it always end up with me crying in my car.
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
Oh, and one of the worst parts... his name was Mario. I fucked a Nintendo character.
I was too hungover to read the menu. I literally pointed at a picture of an advertisement and handed the cashier my card
I just fell in love with a beard, the guy it's attached to isn't great but I think I'm going to take one for the team
The whole time you were apparently enduring your pukescapades, I was singing very loudly in the car to Beyonce on my way to get a post-coitus Diet Coke.
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown
I can't be held responsible for another man's penis.
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
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