There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
you never know when you'll meet the man of your dreams and bang him in an elevator
he puked in my glove box, looked up at me and said "There's not much to say"
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
My brother just woke up to see me on te couch dipping hamburger buns into pizza sauce. I'm beginning to question the life choices that led to this moment.
Walked girl from last night to car as gf was driving up. Got slow clap from neighbors.
I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
I resisted the temptation to hold the cake in one hand to alternate bites with the ruffles I was eating. I decided that might make me look dysfunctional.
Don't be too mad at the guy who broke your kitchen table. Didn't get his name, but he knew all about your gay porn career. Like DETAILS...
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
When did we go from stumbling drunk into an ER at 3am to dinner double dating?
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
He then used a box cutter I keep in my car to open the plan b. Who says chivalry is dead?
Randomize
