Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
Today's life lesson: fat girls should not wear tight miniskirts and vinyl leggings. This Forever 21 salesgirl is a hot mess.
So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
Apparently I'm the guy that didn't get the memo that Afliction and wifebeaters were the proper attire for tonight... so I'll just sit here alone in my sweatervest and be judged.
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
I can't believe I paid your booty call for a ride home in cake.
Some girl, somewhere, is going to wake up with my face paint on her vagina
Apparently throwing balloons filled with vodka off the roof is considered terrorism.
That man deserves a slow clap... He defied the power of the vagina
Just rolled up to a matinee showing of THE HOBBIT. At the dollar theater. Alone. In sweats. With a fifth of sunnybrook and leftover pizza in a ziplock. There's a dude here in cape with his elderly mother. I'm handling this breakup FIIIIIINE.
Also, being stuck with my family all week has made it very clear that I need to be drunk and I need to be fucked pronto
It happend again, swimming on the floor... Vodka is my friend
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
Randomize
