Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
That's when you crack a 10am beer
I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
Helping a hot freshman girl move in = 2 hours of my life One bottle of cheap vodkas = $10 Watching her do the walk a shame on her first morning away from home = Priceless
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
I don't even know why im sitting in this office eating a poptart.
I'm the brains and you're the boobs of this operation.
I know everybody has skeletons in their closet but why are all of mine so slutty?
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
i tied my phone to a string attached to my bra. i am NOT losing it tonight
this is definitely the first time I've ever had an orgasm and then had potatoes smeared on me within the same hour
I am the only person I know ever to have been brought TO the bar in the back of a cop a car. Twice.
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
By the way, you're like fucking spiderman. I've never seen someone climb out of a car window that fast and eloquently.
Periods are much less exciting when you're not sexually active.
Randomize
