I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
I think I'm going to go home and read The Bible.
So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
He is like that thing on the menu you would eat because nothing else looks remotely edible.
Just convinced airport security that im sober. All i do is win.
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
I can see why you broke up with her now... it was like having sex with a corpse.
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
Do you know what your brother wants for his birthday?
Yeah he said he wants a decent blowjob for a change.
.......
I'm just looking out for you.
your vagina must have magic restorative powers I feel rested and powerful this morning.
This is not my bathroom and these are not my pants
I tried to trade my phone for pizza last night. I guess I had priorities last night
Also I think I set a new personal record. Definitely slept with him less than 45 minutes after meeting him. Oh god my life.
Pooping to opera.
Randomize
