DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
I will probably be peed on at some point today.
i don't know how it's possible. but i just bought groceries for a week with the money i made off returning empties
im just gonna lie here and collect money in this whoppers bag while sprawled out on this bench and explain that its to buy weed for my hangover
I was the only one at the party that didn't get their name taken by the police. I'm convinced that I'm the main character of Ferris Bueller's Drunken Adventures.
Hungover and I may throw up in my therapist's office. Maybe he is right about my drinking
Fucking her would be like seeing big foot, finding a four leaf clover , petting a unicorn, and arm wrestling a leprechaun in a matter of a 6 hour period
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
You took a selfie with my hard dick and sent it to Scott with the caption 'Toldja'. It was hard to forget you're a teenager after that
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
I don't know man. I fell outside Pizza Hut and an employee had to perform first aid. But I think I got free pizza. So it was worth it.
My mom and sister were over. When my drunk roommate came home, he yelled "GOT BITCHES IN MY CONDO"
Sorry I trained your dog in Spanish last night. At least he listens to someone now.
It's probably not a good thing when it isn't even 6:30 and I've already drank an entire bottle of wine. By myself. I'm watching Spice World and I just bought 2 Spice Girls albums off itunes.
Make that 3 Spice Girls albums.
Randomize