Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
I kiss like a newly born barfing kangaroo
he was so drunk he doesn't remember anything. I have to break up with him all over again
His glasses broke on the way to the bar aNd he ended up talking to this butterface all night. I didn't have the heart to tell him
Wow, haven't had to deal with the 'stoned at the dinner table' scenario in a while
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
Then they all walked away with the drinks I bought them, and the fat one slapped me in the face. I left and my car had been towed. Worst night ever.
What's the protocol on showing a video of me sucking the life out of my ex in order to prove beyond a doubt that I give great head???
we just bought Vicodin from the Chinese delivery guy, this day just keeps getting better.
oh and i'm sorry i sold you for three cigarettes last night
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
I think that last shot was nyquil. Please come gte me. WINGS.
Just cleaned someone else's sperm off of my bedroom wall. Never throwing a house party again.
God dammit not the cupcake channel. Not when I'm high.
I've officially dedicated my newly single life to making myself squirt.
Randomize
