this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
I discovered last night there is no graceful way to remove your face from your gf's crotch when your parents walk in the room
I love my penis, it thinks for me sometimes
When I unzipped my pants I said "Release the Cracken"... she dug it so we're getting married soon.
Exactly how does jacking off in my purse count as a 'early christmas present'?
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
I'm sorry I kept calling you a pussy... but to be fair, you were being a pussy.
I heard about the break up and if you need a place to stay my vagina is open for you 24/7
Not sure if it is a new high or new low, but i left a basket on the porch of the sorority I woke up at. It had a description of the Minnie Mouse I woke up next to, and Plan B.
it would be cheaper just to buy a dildo to intimidate people with.
Well he just said "there's glass on the floor and it's okay I'm only bleeding out of my esophagus" so yes he's tripping
still not dressed at 5:00, jacking off watching men's figure skating and hoping my weird roommate doesn't walk in. anybody who says idk how to have fun is wrong
I literally just woke up in a dog bed, in a bathtub in someone else's house...and I'm not wearing pants
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
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