But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
just hang any plant up and call it mistletoe.
Pretty sure I just became the first person ever to use the word "boner" in a wedding card...
...he tried to burn down someone's house once. ABORT ABORT ABORT
it's almost 8pm and i'm still hungover. at what point do i alert someone?
I would really just like to get laid somewhere that's not on a bathroom floor at this point in my life
Everyone was in the walk-in getting high, and I had to be all cool. Serving soup and salads. Night manager status doesn't pay enough.
It took years to build this empire of casual fuckings and not carings.
He was so drunk and proud of his 6-month-gym-results he actually made me touch his whole naked body.
totally just stole a 24 pack straight out of the miller truck
The only alcohol at my aunts was mikes hard so I drank 9 of them and puked in the master bath
I'm literally rolling on acid for the first time during Thanksgiving. Help me.
Made him watch 4 hours of HGTV then told him I was too tired for sex.
Savage
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
Randomize
