I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
So the bartender just told me that there was numerous people who saw me having sex on the rooftop last weekend. +1
There was a punch bowl full of straight vodka. Glass bowl, ladle, vodka, and no punch at all. It was something of a rough night
Picture this: me driving down 183 throwing up into a towel. I just hit rock bottom.
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
You rope them in with the looks and the boobs, and I'll bore them into submission with random trivia. We can't lose.
my throat is bruised, my back is scarred, my vagina feels like it's going to fall off.. you're like godzilla. you destroy everything.
It's okay I didn't send any nudes tonight so we are safe *inserts photo of a baseball umpire doing the safe signal*
Life achievement unlocked: I just ate a Slim Jim "Lady and the Tramp" style with a guy in a bar.
even my drug dealer wished me a happy birthday before my mother did.
I ran into a wall that clearly had things popping out. My eyebrow was bruised, both arms, the bottom of my foot. Lost half of my finger nail, my fake eyelash was stuck in my hair and I have about 47 blurry pictures of a half naked zombie DJ.
Randomize
