i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
Apparently everytime he put me down to bed I escaped out the window, I faintly recall climbing into the canoe in the back yard, and air paddling.
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
I was tackling you out of excitement
Yeah thank goodness the stripper pole was there to break my fall.
Remember the 3 things that are off limits? They're fair game if you get here in the next 5 minutes
YOU STOLE THE WEDDING CAKE?!?!
Only one tier
Tastes like cardboard anyway
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
And for those of you keeping score at home this is the 7th time I've found Casey passed out head first in a bowl of chips at a party I didn't even know she was at
Just had the best random sex ever with a girl I picked up from a pro choice rally uptown. God bless the Democratic National Convention.
Guess who woke up with a hangover this morning? The same person whose parents found out and woke her up by banging pots and pans with wooden spoons.
I'm really high and I'm watching this show where Gordon Ramsay goes to other people's restaurants and just yells at them about things.
I'm just gonna yell "SURPRISE ME" and see what happens. No way this could go wrong
I sang Seal's Kiss From a Rose to my quesadilla
sweet Jesus, who thought 13 martinis was a good idea? 11 was probably sufficient.
Who put my cat in the fridge?
Randomize
