i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
i need to break up with him. i realized this while i was making a mental grocery list while we were having sex. this is not the first time i've done that.
He told me he wouldn't do any drunk sluts but me. I guess that's sort of a compliment...?
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
Is it penis luge time yet?
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
How is it that I've hooked up with not one but two guys in the children's section of a bookstore tonight?
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
This whole pope visit thing is ruining me having sex.
If my vagina were a person, it just ran a marathon.
How'd your date go last night?
Well I blacked out at 1:30 and woke up naked in not-my-date's bed with an uneaten Jimmy John's sandwich.
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
I think it’s appropriate to celebrate the start of mother’s day at the bar with the men that almost made me a mother
Randomize
