I've decided to sign up for a porn membership, but it's 10:30 and I'm going to wait an hour an a half because I don't want to waste a whole day of my month long membership. Fuck this economy.
I was informed last night that im not allowed to pick up the bouncers and carry them around anymore. Last sat is starting to make more sense
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
Showering in my swimsuit in hopes of getting the beer smell out.
I just burped smoke on the bus. Hello 6:48am
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
"I feel morally obligated to vote for him since he's my drug dealers dad"
Somehow i instagrammed my acceptance letter while blacked out. Then my grandma was the first to comment on it. I got over 50 likes....Phd here I come....
He is a sweet angel sent from dick heaven!
He named his newborn baby after a character in the Hobbit and that is literally keeping me up at night.
He makes furniture for a living and is basically a hot, younger Ron Swanson
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
Can I just swipe right on his dad?
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
Randomize
