i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
Grape juice and vodka is NOT wine.
Chillin with my Grandpa and my grandma tells us there is a tornado warning. My grandpa then says "We'll go hang out in the basement, we can bring the keg with us." This is why I love coming home
I made weed fried chicken. What have you done today?
way to not show up for Habitat for Humanity, real classy...
I saved lives by not driving this morning
That's the last time I do shots near a campfire.
It's gotten to the point that the dirty talk in my head when I touch myself has your accent
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
I think I will always strangely appreciate as well as kick ass at stoned dishes. Like for the rest of my life. Thank you slave job at Starbucks.
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
He named his newborn baby after a character in the Hobbit and that is literally keeping me up at night.
I haven't gotten dressed in 4 days. God bless you, unemployment.
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
Randomize
