Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
My professors need to stop cancelling class. Bad things happen when I have too much free time on my hands. Bad things.
For future reference, the blowjob coupons I gave you for your birthday are NOT transferable to pay your friends for tacos.
i havent blinked in 235 seconds. now 247. now 258. 263. 267. 271. i also have been gifted with theability to both type and count and not blink. 293 so magical
You may have graduated college on time, but my 6th year ass gets to see awesome tits every day just for showing up.
He barely got in the door before she began to shriek like a banshee and punch him. His rainbow wig is still hanging from the front porch as a "warning to all other clowns".
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
There is no amount of alcohol that can make me forget I had a Jimmy Kimmel sex dream
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
I think I'm going to call this chapter of my life story "Weekday day-drinking in the park isn't just for the homeless!"
So? Find me, fuck me, then you can go to sleep and I'll leave.
Wow. That's the most amazing thing anyone has ever said to me.
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
I'm gonna go take a shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
So drunk me is not subtlety trying to get her boss to cheat on her husband and have a lesbian affair with me. Sober me is ok with that.
Randomize
