Will you take my knitting needle, stick it far up my nose, reach in my frontal lobe and give it a few swirls?
We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
I just convinced a girl to drink my spit cup cuz I said it was dark beer and would get her drunk faster. I dare you to try something better.
his roommates stood outside the locked door reading bible verses to us the whole time...
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
The investigator asked if we were sharing a pitcher of margaritas. I corrected him and explained that we each had our own.
Is this like a "I'm taking you out to dinner and treating you with respect" kind of date, or is this a "I'm gonna fill you with alcohol and cheese and stuff my dick in your anus" kind of date?
You don't understand. This could be the last time I shave a star into my vag. Get over here.
She just drunkenly falls over and yells " I lost my footing!" in a british accent and then proceeds to run into the wall... did you spike her water?
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
Yep. The ghost of my sex life is in your house.
Should I apologize to him for saying I wanted to punch him in the face as I was digging through the trash?
Looking back at our past texts, the minute it turned 2020 you were cleaning your house and I was dying of the cold. We were prophesying the Rona.
Randomize
