dude, i woke up naked in her front yard...apparently i tried to leave in the middle of the night, forgot my clothes and decided,"oh heres a nice patch of grass to sleep on" I think god is up there laughing at me.
if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
unfortunetly they frown upon drunk on duty paramedics
WE'RE FINALLY ADMITTING THAT WE DESPERATELY WANT TO SCREW EACH OTHER. THIS IS WHAT PROGRESS FEELS
He's carved the words "SLAM STATION" into his headboard...
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
I'm discussing Magic Mike with my mom and totally get why she thinks I'm gay.
We're gonna have to check the security cameras after last night
Just had a reminder come up that just said "Ham"
There's a big difference between a penis and a toilet.
I just watched two birds fight or fuck. It was crazy. Another bird was watching closer and I know that bird understood what was happening better than me.
I mean she's doing calculus in her head to prove how NOT drunk she is.
Randomize
