she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
Just took a shot of tequila with a random guy at the supermarket. Happy cinco de fourth.
Don't you realize there's more to life than sex and pizza rolls?
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably.
It was drunk tag. I was Alice in wonderland chasing a ballerina who was chasing Lance Armstrong who had needles in his arms.
He put my hand on his penis and said welcome home.
Sorry I disappeared. Do you hate me?
Not at all, did you not hear me clapping outside your car on our way out?
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
It's two in the afternoon, I'm on my third glass of wine and I'm watching Lambchop on youtube. How do you think I feel right now?
Dude I just realized i did a camper walk of shame in front of amish people. I should have asked for cheese and a home made pie to cover it up. Im just lost shopping in amish country nothing to see here
If I had an Australian accent I'd be unstoppable. Teach me how you talk
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
You have thirteen minutes to get here if you want to get back together. Otherwise I'm getting digits from the waitress.
Randomize
