Keeping hand sanitizer and lube in the same drawer in the same size bottle = awful idea
I need a creepy friend to scare off the other creepy people
I would be honored to be that friend.
I literally sat down and peed with my underwear still on. How does that happen?
i dont even know how to be here
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
frankly if you're gonna get kicked out of your place, hooking up with your gay roommate's boyfriend would be the most entertaining way to do it.
My mom just came into the kitchen and watched me take a double shot of whiskey and chase it with a beer and said "you are my son." Proudest family moment ever
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
I just did the walk of shame in monkey slippers in the snow
Teach me the song of your people
The night is not complete until I am drnk and speaking to inanimate objects
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
11:30pm - Shots together. 12:15pm Shots together. 12:45pm Shots together. 9:30am Plan B's together.
I gave her a cheerful high five and she turned to me and said, "we should do that with our genitals." I may have to marry this girl.
Randomize
