i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
Chances are I'll be there for your wedding. Camelbaks filled with jack and coke are appropriate attire, right?
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
sorry bout that man. went out to pay the pizza boy, ended up hooking up with some random drunk girl that thought i was someone else
My friends son got stung by a jellyfish over the weekend and we seriously stood there debating on whether or not we should pee on this toddler.
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
There's times when I just want to bottle my farts for later they're so insane.
Passing out drunk in my therapists lobby may not be the best way to confirm my "stability"
I asked him to help me break in the space ship aka my bed.
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
Dear Douchebag, I would just like to formally issue this fuck you. You will be receiving a letter in the mail soon. With all of your stuff.
Randomize
