BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
She was so adorably desperate I didn't have the heart to tell her I wasn't a lesbian. So now She's making waffles, may switch teams over this.
Woke up with my face in a bowl of cereal. This is tequila's way of saying fuck you.
I caught them hiding behind a car trying to have sex.
i got her number while she was sitting next to her boyfriend. her actual number. i might be a superhero
I just gagged from thinking about the amount of tequila we will be drinking. DRUNK TUESDAYS
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
I told my coworker that I'm going to a dinner party and was asked to bring wine and pregnancy tests and he was like.. I miss being 20
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
I bought more beer than I could carry and managed to fit it all in the fridge. It's an alcoholicmas miracle.
Tip of the day: Don't Amazon vibrators when your WHOLE FAMILY uses your prime account. There's dildo after dildo showing up in my "Related to Items You've Viewed" category on the home page.
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
Woke up next to a slice if pizza. From what i can tell I tried to plug it into my phone charger. No more blackout wednesdays for this girl.
Got home. Somebody tried to sell me weed on the street. I've never had to try so little to find a dealer before.
Randomize
