So I'm eating my sandwich... and a penny fell out of it.
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
It's been two days. My balls feel like watermelons.
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
woke up wearing a canadian flag with the starting forward of the hockey team. i feel oddly patriotic
there's still three solo cups of your puke in my basement. so that needs to be solved at some point.
True love is when you jack off and continue talking to the girl you like
Why do you text me weird shit like this?
Oh were you the stripper at that club last Sunday when i was trippin on acid wearing a giraffe outfit?
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
I still can't get the taste of her nipples and the udon noodles out of my mouth
I'm so festive that I used my jack o lantern bucket as a just in case barf bin
I'm making a will, in it I'm leaving you my skull.
I parked in the SAE Fraternity lot and left a note that said if you don't tow me you will all get a blowjob.
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
Randomize
