Why can't I find a man that likes bush instead of a vagina that looks like it belongs to a prepubescent child!
Because men are children
Touche
the only bad part about drinking alone is that in the morning there's nobody who can tell you what you did
heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
yo everyone went to the hospital last night
I really couldn't tell if she was disgusted with the fact that I yacked on her shoes, or if she was about to do the same to me.
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
My sister was not impressed when she got here. I was standing in the doorway in my underwear drinking a beer. At 2pm. On a Monday.
Apparently I yelled "no stop it" in my sleep last night when he tried to cuddle with me.
Oops, guess its official. I just use him for sex.
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
STOP SETTING ME UP WITH GUYS YOU MEET ON CRAIGSLIST
The feeling are messing with the penis
I should become a firefighter. Who uses his cock to fight fires. Like a Superhero.
I accidentally sent my dad a very explicit Star Wars fanfiction and he replied with "That was great!"
Dick is healthier for you than green beans
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