i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
the level of his annoyance + every insult he makes = the closer I am to telling him im fucking his ex
I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
i am exhausted. it's been years. we both know his dick is small. the jig is up.
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
Please stop hiding condoms in my house. If I want to have sex with you, I will let you know. FYI, my mom found the ones hidden behind the milk. She was not happy.
Sometimes I hate my life and then I remember I live in the WORLD CAPITAL OF RUM
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
Like, you've got the smoothest dick in the west. Do you moisturize?
Yes I do
How I know we're old. Don knows the owner. The owner said 'How about some shots?' We said no thanks. He looked puzzled and came back later and said 'You know it's on the house?' We said 'Yeah, no thanks.'
good news: i got laid. bad news: by your boyfriend
Business idea: assless chaps for toddlers. I'm high.
I just remembered how you stole the slinky from me. Bitch, I will NEVER forgive you.
Randomize
