I wish I only lived at night.
No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
Alcoholism comes in two forms... Us.
Trying to guess which perfume the stripper was wearing based on my bf's clothes
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
The rest of the concert I just stared at the lights and didn't really listen to the music cuz I was trying to make sure my brain still worked cuz my face was numb and I couldn't move... Yeah I'm not a weed brownie person
You decided it was too difficult to walk down the stairs so you just rolled across his kitchen floor laughing like a maniac and trying to drink at the same time
He got hit with a horseshoe, set on fire, fell out of a tree, and puked all over the side of his car, all before midnight. Everclear.
That's the ultimate walk-of-shame: running away from your own apartment and hiding in a McDonald's.
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
I don't know, I think it's at least a minor achievement when you can light up with the guy who took your virginity and act like you didn't have and incredibly awkward sexual experience together
ill be home in an hour. Be in my bed ready for disappointment
Is it ironic that our divorce court is a block from where we had our reception? Or is it just sad? Alanis has confused my understanding of irony.
I don't want to inconvenience you with my dick\n\n
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