There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
Nothing better then your mother meeting someone you randomly had sex with and him introducing himself as the guy who rocked her world once.
hahahahaha your sister just walked down from the guest house with a stain on the front of her shirt and "owned" written in blue sharpie on her forehead. i dont think she knows what happened last night either.
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
SHUT UP I CAN'T HEAR YOU OVER THE SOUND OF UKULELE AND LONLINESS
Is he gonna be my crazy ex? Cause we weren't even together for as long as my weeklong bicurious lesbian relationship.
But I REALLY want to hide my crazy for as long as possible with him so he'll date me.
How do you initiate sexting are u supposed to be like yo I'm peeing and eating a clif bar and texting and thinking about you naked all at the same time
being broke is really keeping my alcoholism in check
Btw, how did you break into my room, and why did you decide that covering the mushrooms with a blanket was more secure than a lock on my door?
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
Dad is wasting no time getting back out there. Just walked in on him and a Twin Peaks waitress in the hot tub
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