Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
I woke up with a crunchy, pink Pepto streak through my hair, no recollection of the last 6 hours of my night and the feeling that all the hotel's staff knew me on a first name basis.
you should have seen his reaction to my boobs, it was like he just met god
This guy at the party just introduced himself to me as "the guy who sat behind you on a plane last year"
All that matters is I got the megaphone home safely
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
I'm drinking too much free beer
Thats like saying one owns too many kittens. It's not possible.
I woke up in a poorly constructed blanket fort on a strange office floor covered in rug burns and champagne. How was your night?
Never let him bartend when he's tripping. He sprinkled a ton of mexican shredded cheese over a jack and coke and called in a Monterey Jack Daniels.
So, I have realized that I am kryptonite for married men. I'm not sure how to feel about this sober, but drunk me accepts her destiny.
HE'S LIKE A GREEK GOD BUT HE'S FROM BOSTON. HE'S A BOSTON GOD
pray to him
I WANNA PRAY ON HIS DICK
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
We found you in the bathroom at 1AM throwing money into the toilet making wishes. That drunk.
.... Seriously?
Her oh Gods turned into oh god I shouldn't be doing this I'm engaged.
He's a security blanket. A security blanket who FUCKS.
Randomize
