After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
oh my god i am going to vomit. and little burgers wearing crowns are going to come out.
I don't care if he acts like a don't exist 6 days a week. On the 7th day he makes makes my vagina cry. In a good way. Jesus understands.
Sorry if I'm being weird. I'm dipping doritos in cabernet.
she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
We found her naked passed out on the bathroom floor. She didn't even make it to the shower. She was clutching the bathroom rug.
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
I am going to borrow your water/shock proof video camera for St. Pattys day so that if wake up next to the highway again I know why.
Ok but I hold the right to any footage of you getting slapped, puking, anything with body shots, and allowed to make a montage of it to put on youtube.
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
Come over. But instead of sex, will you rub anti itch cream all over my face?
Last night turned out to be an expensive trip to your house between the ticket and the plan b. (Well I haven't gotten that yet)
I slept naked with a towel wrapped around my waist in case I pissed the bed again
WHY DID YOU DRUNK DIAL MY MOM?!
Because mine was sitting on the bar stool next to me...
The man who almost made us Eskimo sisters is getting married. Of course I'll be your date. We need to toast the end of his sex life!
Randomize