he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
she was on her period so I asked if she wanted to make ass babies
I think call of duty has replaced my masturbating. And I'm alright with that.
i think he drugged the pie. i'll get back to you on that later.
I can't remember much about walking home last night. I think I kicked a dog.
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
To be clear, the next time I wake up with your dick inside me, I will reach down and grab one and squeeze until it pops like a grape. You've been warned.
Its alot like that time you got motorboated by the carni at the rodeo.
MORE IMPORTANTLY I THINK I JUST WATCHED SOMEONE GET SO LONELY AS TO TURN BISEXUAL??
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
Right, try not to commit a felony that costs more than 4 dollars cause that's all I have in my bail jar.
Playing Cards Against Humanity with my relatives at Christmas while I'm stoned was a bad idea...
It's cool bro. The video I have of you drunk trying to fix it with the sonic screwdriver was worth it.
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
Randomize
