I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
Too much gin, very little bucket
We pinky-swore to never fuck each other again.
you know its bad when everytime i put on a shirt i think of who i hooked up with in it
You should seriously consider super glueing your knees together
The power of my vagina can withstand any attempt of celibacy
I just had a brazillian performed by a hungarian named olga. Im pretty sure she was trying to rip out my soul. You owe me a million orgasms
you had me at cake vodka
so the x-ray technician didnt buy my story of falling off a curb. she said a fall of that height couldnt snap the bone that way. bitch called me a drunken idiot too. if she wasnt so hot i'd be angry
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
he gave me a thermos so I could take my coffee with my on drive of shame. I was unexpectedly grateful...
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
He flipped me around so that we could have sex and both watch Die Hard... I think I found my sole mate. Merry Christmas to me!!🎄
Just puked most of my soul out..
Look, I need your help, not your judgment.
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