I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
I walk in to see her roommate half naked on their stripper pole. I knew I was home.
She forgot my birthday again. How do you forget something that came out of your vagina???
Every time I remember you're bi, the world gets a little brighter.
does pizza still have the 5 second rule in the bubble bath?
I'm being fed tequila grapes by a girl on stilts...
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
Him naked in my bed with a bottle of vodka in one hand, a pipe in the other, and a rose in his mouth.
I just want to drink cheap wine and throw my bra at an aging singer songwriter
Don't let me pee the bed... Its going to be one of those weekends
I think I may have fully transcended this spectrum of life. I can see beams of light man. Down to the photons
What
The only downside is I can't stop skipping
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
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