Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
Was the mom I hooked up with decently attractive I feel like her two friends were hotter
Um. That's my cat Laura. You put my cat in your mouth, and then you put my cat in your purse.
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
You made out with my dog and told me he tasted like a rainbow.
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
I just want you and your enormous dick to be my fucking rebound so we can move on with our lives
I just got hit with cramps and found a mystery pill. I'm gonna stay put for an hour and at least see what happens.
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
I'll only sleep there if we can bone on your balcony.
You keep making the old jokes & I'm gonna come down with a sudden case of low-estrogen related vaginal dryness..
I need water and some morals
Look fucker, my sensibility and attention to detail is the ONLY REASON you're not dead now
Gatorade without vodka just doesn't taste the same
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