she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
You need Jesus. Or a midol and a snickers. Whichever.
Just made out with the bride... She was still in her dress & I was still in my bridesmaid dress, how's that for an album picture?!?
how opposed are you to picking me up at the bar at 11:00am?
don't tell me about being eco-friendly. i just threw up in the same bag i bought my liquor in. RECYCLING
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
If we can't get laid at a bar crawl, we should just quit life.
A gay dude just spanked me with a nicholas sparks novel and called me foxy. I'm putting this on my resume.
can we not compare my dick to a children’s folk tale
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
I couldnt face her after that wonderful, terrible blowjob. Made a rope out of towels and climbed out her bathroom window.
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
The sex would be better if it wasn’t interrupted because his home detention ankle monitor needed charging. At least I know he’s not cheating on me
Do you even hear yourself?
Randomize