I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
you're putting all your eggs in a very hungover basket
Ive either hit rock bottom or become my own hero.
It is virtually impossible to listen to single ladies and perform any seated task.
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
I wish someone would just come knock on my door and fuck me already so that me and my stuffed animals aren't the only ones who see my amazing spring break tan. I'm not getting skin cancer so I can just sit here abstinent.
I have been referring to it as "thanks for getting out of me day" all week. Do you think they will still take me to brunch tomorrow?
For the record you were pretending you were in a rocket when you drove from wawa to your house. So like 2 minutes of me listening to you making rocket sounds over the phone lmfao
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
Who doesnt want to be Yoda? I mean seriously, how sweet would that be? Live to 400, not give a shit about love and all that, know fucking mind tricks and smoke awesome swamp weed. I'm down.
im half tempted just to scoot up to him and whisper "I'm not wearing underwear" but idk if thats a heartfelt apology
She's like the King Midas of sexual confusion. Everything she touches turns to gay.
In hindsight I shouldn't have been blasting Antichrist Superstar if I didn't want to seem suspicious driving up to a Catholic church
Randomize
