Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
Why is the garage door in the middle of the street?
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
Managed to get through family dinner without anyone knowing I was tripping balls. Christmas miracle. He exists.
The moment you realize you should grow up: you're snorting your fathers percocet script with your old health insurance card, while your parents are on a 10 day cruise in the carribean...
Every time you blow me I should make a paper crane and we'll make them into a chain and hang them from the ceiling. And then whenever we have people over and they ask what the cranes are for I'll say "reminders" and wink at you.
He ripped off his socks and ran around the basement barefoot. His feet turned black. Then he chugged Parmesan cheese. He chugged dry cheese dude.
I dunno. We kind of want to have a hippie communing with nature type break. But because we're such alcoholics I feel like we'll just be wasted the whole time in addition to hugging trees and shit
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
Why did I ever allow that penis to enter my sacred temple?
i'll talk to you in three hours when you've stopped foaming at the mouth and your eyes have rolled back into place
I RAN OVER A NUN! I RAN OVER A FUCKING NUN! GOD WILL NEVER FORGIVE ME FOR MY SINS NOW!!!
Bear grylls would be proud of my improvisation. Just used her vibrator to massage my back after hurting it at work.
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