please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
Funny, I didnt know that facebook statuses were for crappy song lyrics
dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
We just licked a sour creme and onion chip for salt for a tequila shot. Our vacation has officially begun.
just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
Fucking plugged the shower with taquitos I just threw up.
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
currently wearing a football players overly sized underwear. discovered a shot count on my leg. I'm a tank hahahhh
I walked out of the bedroom naked holding a used condom only to be greeted by half of my family. Happy birthday mom
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
God specifically crafted these hands to deal out orgasms.
for future reference, singing eye of the tiger outside my door while i am having sex makes me incredibly uncomfortable
apparently not uncomfortable enough for you to stop
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
Randomize
