the vacuum is drunk
what?
i spilled my drink and tried to vacuum it and now the vacuum is drunk
Dude love is like an itch. You fuckin scratch it, then it itches more, then you scratch it and it itches more, and before you know it, there is semen everywhere.
you are insane
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
It was like the Alcoholic Olympics...double fisting fifths with eight 40s in my backpack...running from the cops in stilettos. I will have bitchin' hamstrings come Monday.
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
We need large glitter to throw at people to signify our mystic nature
Fuck their feelings and their drinks they will get hit with sparkly confetti
Unless you're gonna start buying my underwear, you have got to stop ripping it off of me.
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
I find it ironic...the gays are dying to get married & I just want a fucking divorce
Today is a spill-drugs-all-over-myself kind of day.
I come from a long history of big boobed German, Swedish, and Irish women. And then there's me. Mother nature was like "Naaaaaaah."
Please tell me that all of the things I remember doing last night didn't really happen. Please.
I just googled "creative ways to tell someone you'll give them a blow job". I'm losing my touch.
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
Randomize
