I though she ruined it by crying, then I realized it wasn’t a tear, it was my great aim. It turned out to be beautiful.
i have a girlfriend
if you're drunk do you have a girlfriend?
no
He's sobering up. It was really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together.
today's the one month anniversary of me not giving anyone head. can you tell me you're proud
it's sad that this is a milestone
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
Sneezing blood is a good thing right? Medically speaking.
I take pleasure in knowing how many gallons of booze we've put away in comradery.
I think we should measure in "bathtubs"
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
Soggy bong water carpet is the worst kind of carpet.
Have you ever had chicken nuggets while high? Because it tastes like hearing the Beatles for the first time
Thanks for launching me off you reverse cowgirl. I think I chipped a tooth.
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
He told me he needed "space" but then goes and likes my insta of panacakes.. Done.
Just because your drunk doesn't mean you can stick your dick in the snow. Just a FYI
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
Randomize
