Thats something to write home to mom about
Dear Mom, I had sex last nt w a girl that liked to b choked. Im n love. Cant wait for you to meet her
We're official. Living with your boyfriend sounds so much better than fucking your roommate.
she said she was gay. i said prove it. she said "ok i wont fuck you"
I'm glad we have the kind of friendship where if either of us is too drunk to fuck a hot guy, we pass the responsibility to each other and get the job done.
I just re read that. We really need to get our lives together.
In an m&m suit playing manhunt drunk. And you thought you werent guna have a good time
If anyone from work finds out about us I will rip your dick off, sew it to your forehead and feed your balls to you like little grapes
Every time I there's a break up, I'm left with an animal. That's it. No more mutual pets.
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
I bet he'd be real motivational during sex. And he'd probably make you call him superman.
It's all good, I've hated people for lesser reasons than being my ex boyfriend's favorite pro athlete of all time
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
I told her I was going to masterbate myself into a coma... We have another date on Thursday.
Pretty sure I scared her away last night by putting a vodka tampon in my ass
YOU'D BE LIKE A MERMAID! I'll bring you coffee filters to cover your tits.
It's like the perfect sandwich, once you find it you want to ensure your future access to it.
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