I accidentally burped into my bong.
I'm drunk in class and I'm pretty sure the bible freak behind me is saying a prayer for me
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
It wasn't until I took a shit, that I remembered that you assholes started spiking my shots with tobasco when I wasn't looking last night. Dicks.
You got a blow job by a girl whose nickname is "the terrible tooth"?! You are a brave man.
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
So apparently using the emergency exit of the bar as a bathroom is frowned upon in this establishment...
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
My new roommate is awesome. His father owns a bar and his sister has an E cup. I'm going to be with him forever
My butt remains clenched, sir.
i cant hook up i'm covered in egg rolls
Sorry for not calling you back. I got drunk and passed out on the kitchen floor. I just found my phone in the shower.
Randomize
