I think I gave almost everyone at that party the clap last night
why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
you knoww youre high when you are just as concerned as the contestants on ultimate cake off as they move their 250 lbs cake over the ramp
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
apparently it isn't appropriate to tell a coworker who is eating celery because it's "negative calories" that a blowjob is too
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
I found him in bed on a pullout couch with another dude. He had two empty puke buckets and his empty bottle of jagermeister right by his head.
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
But how MUCH of an emergency? Like, should I go to the ER now, or can it wait until after the bar crawl?
My brother is so high right now he's eating frozen peas and called them "fucking delightful"
Okay, this next statement may sound like a red flag but I'm tellin you, shotgunning those two beers really helped me love my child more effectively. Honest.
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
Randomize
